Infidelity is nothing new. It has led to wars and revolutions. When Helen of Troy was unfaithful to her elderly husband, King Menelaus, and ran off with the young, handsome Paris, it led to ten years of bloody warfare. King Henry VIII of England fell in love with the young and beautiful Ann Boleyn and wanted a divorce from his long-time wife. When the Pope refused to grant a divorce, siding with the Catholic Queen Katherine, Henry ultimately went to war against the Catholic Church in England. We all know it didn't end well for Ann, but their child became the illustrious Queen Elizabeth.
In most cases, the trauma caused by infidelity is limited to the couple and those closest to them. Although the infidelity may seem to have been an inexplicable betrayal, there is often an underlying problem. It's too simplistic to say, "I cheated because you did ...", but the couple can discover the roots of the problems and build a better relationship. It isn't possible to recreate the 'old' relationship; trying to do so is a mistake. Ultimately, it was the 'old' relationship that led to the current one. The goal should be to build a new and stronger bond.
Many couples find that it is much easier to work through issues with the assistance of an experienced therapist and counselor. Couples have a lot invested in their relationship, emotionally and financially, even if there are no children involved.
Linda Charnes is a psychotherapist who practices relationship therapy in NYC. She does a great deal of work with couples who are dealings with issues involving infidelity. Her experience has led her to believe that there are five stages to the rebuilding process.
1. A plan of action will be decided upon after it's clear where the relationship now stands.
2. The couple will learn communication skills and how to handle their emotions and needs.
3. Discover how the dynamics of the relationship in the past created problems in the present.
4. Find and implement ways to rebuild trust and repair the damage.
5. Create a new, stronger relationship by identifying and resolving relationship and personal issues.
Ms. Charnes also assists individuals with problems involving eating and weight loss, stress, depression, substance abuse and self esteem issues. If someone is trying to cope with a fractured relationship or another problem, they should consider scheduling an appointment with her.
In most cases, the trauma caused by infidelity is limited to the couple and those closest to them. Although the infidelity may seem to have been an inexplicable betrayal, there is often an underlying problem. It's too simplistic to say, "I cheated because you did ...", but the couple can discover the roots of the problems and build a better relationship. It isn't possible to recreate the 'old' relationship; trying to do so is a mistake. Ultimately, it was the 'old' relationship that led to the current one. The goal should be to build a new and stronger bond.
Many couples find that it is much easier to work through issues with the assistance of an experienced therapist and counselor. Couples have a lot invested in their relationship, emotionally and financially, even if there are no children involved.
Linda Charnes is a psychotherapist who practices relationship therapy in NYC. She does a great deal of work with couples who are dealings with issues involving infidelity. Her experience has led her to believe that there are five stages to the rebuilding process.
1. A plan of action will be decided upon after it's clear where the relationship now stands.
2. The couple will learn communication skills and how to handle their emotions and needs.
3. Discover how the dynamics of the relationship in the past created problems in the present.
4. Find and implement ways to rebuild trust and repair the damage.
5. Create a new, stronger relationship by identifying and resolving relationship and personal issues.
Ms. Charnes also assists individuals with problems involving eating and weight loss, stress, depression, substance abuse and self esteem issues. If someone is trying to cope with a fractured relationship or another problem, they should consider scheduling an appointment with her.
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