Many of us have had experiences with a bully in the past.
Parents who have been the victim of one or more bullies when they grew up quite often are concerned that their son or daughter might suffer the same harassment.
As a result it is quite alarming when you find out that it could be the exact opposite.
A parent does not want to admit that "My Child is a Bully".
So now you are faced with the question "What To Do With A Bully?".
The answer is much more difficult when it is your child! If you are contacted by a school official, a law enforcement officer or the parent of a child who is accusing your child of bullying activity you must make sure to not over react.
First you must get as much information as possible.
There is always two sides to every issue.
Is your son or daughter the bully or is he/she the one being bullied? What exactly is he/she doing to bully the other kid? You want to get as much information as possible before taking any action.
If you are convinced that your child is engaging in bullying activities towards another kid or other children then you do need to take action immediately but in a calm and controlled process.
You do not want to over react by raising your voice or using physical punishment.
You need to set an example as you manage the situation.
Here are 9 steps to take: 1.
You want to take advantage of all the resources available to you to get to the root of the problem.
Talk to his teachers, counselors and possibly the parent of the children being bullied to try and get as much information about what is going on as possible.
2.
Sit down and talk to your son or daughter.
Try and find out why he or she is bullying the other child.
Is it peer pressure? Is it jealousy? Is it do to insecurity? Is it a form of retaliation? It is important and critical to find out what it is that is causing your child to harass other kids.
3.
You need to explain to your son or daughter the seriousness of his or her behavior.
They need to fully understand what their behavior is doing to the victim and what the victim is experiencing as a result of the bullying taking place.
4.
You may want to role-play with your child to try and demonstrate the proper way of handling certain situations that may have occurred that caused them to behave in this manner.
5.
Try to identify an area of strength your kid possesses.
It has been found that if you can encourage your kid to achieve in an area he or she is skilled in (music, art, sports, etc...
) that it can help greatly with their self esteem and eliminate the desire to bully.
6.
Try to keep communication between your child and yourself as open as possible.
Share an activity together that you both enjoy.
Read a book, watch a movie, go swimming, go bowling, or whatever the two of you can do together to help bond will help immensely.
7.
Set a good example for your children.
Make sure that when you are confronted with a problem that you solve the problem in a calm manner without over-reacting, shouting, or becoming violent in your actions.
8.
Be sure to praise your child for positive behavior he/she exhibits and whenever possible heap that praise on him/her in front of others.
It is very important to praise good behavior in public and if necessary, make any corrections to bad behavior in private.
9.
If for any reason you still have concerns that your kid still needs further help to eliminate the bullying behavior or to deal with whatever the reasons existed that caused the behavior contact a child mental health professional immediately.
You cannot under estimate the seriousness of the situation.
To get more information on what to do with a bully there are many websites that go into detail on the problem of bullying from both sides of the issue.
Whatever you do, take action quickly!
Parents who have been the victim of one or more bullies when they grew up quite often are concerned that their son or daughter might suffer the same harassment.
As a result it is quite alarming when you find out that it could be the exact opposite.
A parent does not want to admit that "My Child is a Bully".
So now you are faced with the question "What To Do With A Bully?".
The answer is much more difficult when it is your child! If you are contacted by a school official, a law enforcement officer or the parent of a child who is accusing your child of bullying activity you must make sure to not over react.
First you must get as much information as possible.
There is always two sides to every issue.
Is your son or daughter the bully or is he/she the one being bullied? What exactly is he/she doing to bully the other kid? You want to get as much information as possible before taking any action.
If you are convinced that your child is engaging in bullying activities towards another kid or other children then you do need to take action immediately but in a calm and controlled process.
You do not want to over react by raising your voice or using physical punishment.
You need to set an example as you manage the situation.
Here are 9 steps to take: 1.
You want to take advantage of all the resources available to you to get to the root of the problem.
Talk to his teachers, counselors and possibly the parent of the children being bullied to try and get as much information about what is going on as possible.
2.
Sit down and talk to your son or daughter.
Try and find out why he or she is bullying the other child.
Is it peer pressure? Is it jealousy? Is it do to insecurity? Is it a form of retaliation? It is important and critical to find out what it is that is causing your child to harass other kids.
3.
You need to explain to your son or daughter the seriousness of his or her behavior.
They need to fully understand what their behavior is doing to the victim and what the victim is experiencing as a result of the bullying taking place.
4.
You may want to role-play with your child to try and demonstrate the proper way of handling certain situations that may have occurred that caused them to behave in this manner.
5.
Try to identify an area of strength your kid possesses.
It has been found that if you can encourage your kid to achieve in an area he or she is skilled in (music, art, sports, etc...
) that it can help greatly with their self esteem and eliminate the desire to bully.
6.
Try to keep communication between your child and yourself as open as possible.
Share an activity together that you both enjoy.
Read a book, watch a movie, go swimming, go bowling, or whatever the two of you can do together to help bond will help immensely.
7.
Set a good example for your children.
Make sure that when you are confronted with a problem that you solve the problem in a calm manner without over-reacting, shouting, or becoming violent in your actions.
8.
Be sure to praise your child for positive behavior he/she exhibits and whenever possible heap that praise on him/her in front of others.
It is very important to praise good behavior in public and if necessary, make any corrections to bad behavior in private.
9.
If for any reason you still have concerns that your kid still needs further help to eliminate the bullying behavior or to deal with whatever the reasons existed that caused the behavior contact a child mental health professional immediately.
You cannot under estimate the seriousness of the situation.
To get more information on what to do with a bully there are many websites that go into detail on the problem of bullying from both sides of the issue.
Whatever you do, take action quickly!
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