A definition and a list of symptoms provide the starting point for thinking about social anxiety but it does not give us the complete picture - or do justice to the suffering involved.
It is hardly surprising that a problem that potentially affects so many aspects of life should have wide ranging affects.
Some socially anxious people avoid going out with friends, to meetings or to grander social occasions such as weddings, but many others continue to attend events that they fear.
It may be that on the surface the lives of these people are not actually restricted and that avoidance is not a problem for them.
However, this is to overlook the many subtle ways in which one can avoid the difficult aspects of situations, some of which detailed below.
If you avoid something you cannot learn that it is, despite what one might think about it, harmless.
It is important not to overlook subtle kinds of avoidance as, like avoidance of any kind, they play an important part in keeping the problem going.
Subtle Kinds of Avoidance (may include but not limited to):
It is hardly surprising that a problem that potentially affects so many aspects of life should have wide ranging affects.
Some socially anxious people avoid going out with friends, to meetings or to grander social occasions such as weddings, but many others continue to attend events that they fear.
It may be that on the surface the lives of these people are not actually restricted and that avoidance is not a problem for them.
However, this is to overlook the many subtle ways in which one can avoid the difficult aspects of situations, some of which detailed below.
If you avoid something you cannot learn that it is, despite what one might think about it, harmless.
It is important not to overlook subtle kinds of avoidance as, like avoidance of any kind, they play an important part in keeping the problem going.
Subtle Kinds of Avoidance (may include but not limited to):
- Waiting for someone else to arrive before entering a room full of people
- Handing things round at a party, so as to avoid in to getting into conversation
- Putting things off, such as meeting the neighbors or shopping at crowded times
- Turning away when you see someone coming who makes you feel anxious
- Avoiding talking about anything personal
- Avoiding using your hands when other might be watching
- Not eating in public places
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