Twenty years ago, having a "mommy makeover" meant a manicure and facial followed by a quick cut and set. Not any more. These days, women with children seeking to pass themselves off as fresh-faced virgins who never changed a diaper in their lives are having a variety of plastic surgery procedures, in a bid to make them look younger, thinner and without any sags or bags.
Take Ellie Malmin, a 45-year-old from Florida who took time off from a busy career to have two children. Pregnancy left the diminutive 5ft 5in makeup artist with 30 extra pounds of post-pregnancy weight, and she felt horrible, fat and downright ugly.
"Like many women, I wanted to be the perfect mother and gave virtually all my time and attention to the children," Ellie told CosmeticSurgery.com. "I got to the point where I had put myself at the bottom of my priorities and even went around without makeup. In a word, I had become a frump.
"If I lose respect for myself, my kids may also lose respect for me and then themselves," Ellie said to herself in a rare moment of insight. "Perhaps the children would have a better role model if they saw me as more outgoing and confident - and not so frumpy."
So what did Ellie do? According to the website, she had a tummy tuck, eye bag removal, thigh liposuction, a breast lift and cosmetic dentistry. And now her kids, aged three and seven, see a "more confident, outgoing mother with higher self-esteem."
If you think your little darlings would love you a lot more if you had higher breasts and a flatter tummy - and what children wouldn't? - maybe it's time you spent tens of thousands of dollars on plastic surgery (or get new kids - and a life). After all, if a Mommy Makeover worked for Ellie, maybe it would work for you...
What is a Mommy Makeover?
A Mommy makeover is an expensive, painful procedure where women who have given birth to children with their own bodies seek to turn back the clock and make themselves appear younger, thinner and more sleek. The list of procedures available is endless as you can always find a cosmetic surgeon willing to change literally every part of your body - at a cost. Here are just some of the procedures on offer:
Invasive Procedures
Breast Lift. A mastopexy will raise your breasts and take away their droopy appearance. Can be done in conjunction with an augmentation or reduction. Sometimes the nipple may have to be cut away and removed, then placed back. Ouch!
Breast Augmentation. Commonly known as a boob job, but in official parlance goes by the name "augmentation mammoplasty". Add a bit of silicone inside your chest to make your saggy breasts, ravaged by breastfeeding, look perky and new. Some women opt for bigger boobs to have a more proportional figure, some do it for the opposite reason...
Tummy Tuck. Different types of tucks, or abdominoplasties, are available, depending on how much fat and skin you need removed. Sometimes liposuction is done in conjunction. Best for women who have achieved their ideal weight through dieting and exercise but have excess skin they cannot get rid of as the result of pregnancy.
Thigh Liposuction. Get rid of those deposits of fat that are proving impossible to shift with this vacuum-like device. It really sucks.
Butt Lift. Fat is transferred from other parts of your body into your bottom, to give it shape and make it appear perkier. Buttock implants are also a possibility, where silicone implants are used to fill out your butt cheeks. Cheeky, huh?
Face Lift. Why look old when you don't have to? Have your face threaded, lifted or even have part of it cut away! Be aware, however, that face lifts may take away the odd wrinkle but cannot give you beautiful skin - unless you had it before the procedure was carried out.
Vaginal Rejuvenation. Get a tighter vagina by having the skin muscles tightened and excess tissue cut away. If you really want to look younger, have a hymenoplasty at the same time, to "repair" your hymen.
Less Invasive Procedures
Chemical Peel. Various acids are used to peel away the top layer of skin, and theoretically to improve the stimulation of more collagen. Can take away age spots and very fine wrinkles and leave you looking younger. Ask to see which one is best for your skin type.
Botox. Whether it's to smooth away fine lines on the forehead or around the mouth, this toxin works by paralyzing the facial muscles and making you look younger, as if you haven't a care in the world...
Laser Hair Removal. Getting rid of hair in the bikini region is one way to make yourself look younger - why not go all the way and look pre-pubescent? Some guys like that - but do we like guys who do?
Dermal Fillers. Fill our your lips and plump up your cheeks with injections of Restylane, Juvederm and other cosmetic fillers. Look like Angelina Jolie, if you wish - at least around her mouth!
There's no reason women shouldn't be happy with the bodies they have, and feel proud to wear the scars of motherhood. We should revel in our saggy breasts, stretchmarks and big tummies. After all, no pain, no gain - right? And there's (almost) nothing a bit of dieting and exercise can't sort out.
If you do decide to have a Mommy Makeover, however, there's no reason your spouse shouldn't have a Daddy Makeover at the same time. Just because he didn't have to give birth doesn't mean he hasn't aged. After all, sitting on the couch watching football, drinking beer and scoffing pizza every weekend while you take care of the kids must have taken its toll on the poor fella.
So next time you trot off to the hospital in your Manolo Blahniks for a quick nip and tuck, why not suggest that your man also go under the knife and indulge in a chin implant, hair transplant, pectoral implant and tummy tuck? And why not throw in a nose job - and a penis extension - while he's at it? Looking good, Daddio!
Take Ellie Malmin, a 45-year-old from Florida who took time off from a busy career to have two children. Pregnancy left the diminutive 5ft 5in makeup artist with 30 extra pounds of post-pregnancy weight, and she felt horrible, fat and downright ugly.
"Like many women, I wanted to be the perfect mother and gave virtually all my time and attention to the children," Ellie told CosmeticSurgery.com. "I got to the point where I had put myself at the bottom of my priorities and even went around without makeup. In a word, I had become a frump.
"If I lose respect for myself, my kids may also lose respect for me and then themselves," Ellie said to herself in a rare moment of insight. "Perhaps the children would have a better role model if they saw me as more outgoing and confident - and not so frumpy."
So what did Ellie do? According to the website, she had a tummy tuck, eye bag removal, thigh liposuction, a breast lift and cosmetic dentistry. And now her kids, aged three and seven, see a "more confident, outgoing mother with higher self-esteem."
If you think your little darlings would love you a lot more if you had higher breasts and a flatter tummy - and what children wouldn't? - maybe it's time you spent tens of thousands of dollars on plastic surgery (or get new kids - and a life). After all, if a Mommy Makeover worked for Ellie, maybe it would work for you...
What is a Mommy Makeover?
A Mommy makeover is an expensive, painful procedure where women who have given birth to children with their own bodies seek to turn back the clock and make themselves appear younger, thinner and more sleek. The list of procedures available is endless as you can always find a cosmetic surgeon willing to change literally every part of your body - at a cost. Here are just some of the procedures on offer:
Invasive Procedures
Breast Lift. A mastopexy will raise your breasts and take away their droopy appearance. Can be done in conjunction with an augmentation or reduction. Sometimes the nipple may have to be cut away and removed, then placed back. Ouch!
Breast Augmentation. Commonly known as a boob job, but in official parlance goes by the name "augmentation mammoplasty". Add a bit of silicone inside your chest to make your saggy breasts, ravaged by breastfeeding, look perky and new. Some women opt for bigger boobs to have a more proportional figure, some do it for the opposite reason...
Tummy Tuck. Different types of tucks, or abdominoplasties, are available, depending on how much fat and skin you need removed. Sometimes liposuction is done in conjunction. Best for women who have achieved their ideal weight through dieting and exercise but have excess skin they cannot get rid of as the result of pregnancy.
Thigh Liposuction. Get rid of those deposits of fat that are proving impossible to shift with this vacuum-like device. It really sucks.
Butt Lift. Fat is transferred from other parts of your body into your bottom, to give it shape and make it appear perkier. Buttock implants are also a possibility, where silicone implants are used to fill out your butt cheeks. Cheeky, huh?
Face Lift. Why look old when you don't have to? Have your face threaded, lifted or even have part of it cut away! Be aware, however, that face lifts may take away the odd wrinkle but cannot give you beautiful skin - unless you had it before the procedure was carried out.
Vaginal Rejuvenation. Get a tighter vagina by having the skin muscles tightened and excess tissue cut away. If you really want to look younger, have a hymenoplasty at the same time, to "repair" your hymen.
Less Invasive Procedures
Chemical Peel. Various acids are used to peel away the top layer of skin, and theoretically to improve the stimulation of more collagen. Can take away age spots and very fine wrinkles and leave you looking younger. Ask to see which one is best for your skin type.
Botox. Whether it's to smooth away fine lines on the forehead or around the mouth, this toxin works by paralyzing the facial muscles and making you look younger, as if you haven't a care in the world...
Laser Hair Removal. Getting rid of hair in the bikini region is one way to make yourself look younger - why not go all the way and look pre-pubescent? Some guys like that - but do we like guys who do?
Dermal Fillers. Fill our your lips and plump up your cheeks with injections of Restylane, Juvederm and other cosmetic fillers. Look like Angelina Jolie, if you wish - at least around her mouth!
There's no reason women shouldn't be happy with the bodies they have, and feel proud to wear the scars of motherhood. We should revel in our saggy breasts, stretchmarks and big tummies. After all, no pain, no gain - right? And there's (almost) nothing a bit of dieting and exercise can't sort out.
If you do decide to have a Mommy Makeover, however, there's no reason your spouse shouldn't have a Daddy Makeover at the same time. Just because he didn't have to give birth doesn't mean he hasn't aged. After all, sitting on the couch watching football, drinking beer and scoffing pizza every weekend while you take care of the kids must have taken its toll on the poor fella.
So next time you trot off to the hospital in your Manolo Blahniks for a quick nip and tuck, why not suggest that your man also go under the knife and indulge in a chin implant, hair transplant, pectoral implant and tummy tuck? And why not throw in a nose job - and a penis extension - while he's at it? Looking good, Daddio!
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