As parents, we need to learn to do child discipline the right way by being consistent with our children.
Do you put your child into time out when they hit their sibling? Then do it consistently every time.
Do you ground the child who goes off to play without letting you know where they are going and what they are doing? Then do it every time.
Do you make your preteen write you 20 lines when they talk rudely to you? Then do it every time.
I am trying to make a point here.
When you decide to give out consequences to your children they need to be highly predictable.
Let me say that again in case some of you missed that.
when you decide to give out a consequence to your child, it needs to be highly predictable.
But what exactly does this mean to us? Kids need to make good choices, but they don't always choose well.
Our goal is that before they decide to indulge in a not so pleasant behavior, they would be able to say to themselves, "OK, is it worth running off for the afternoon to play with Johnnie when I know without a doubt that when I get home I will be grounded for seven days?" Can you see how this helps a child? The whole idea is that discipline is about teaching our kids to make the best choices.
In order to do this they really need to have all the facts so that they can make their decision.
Ultimately if we give our kids consequences that line up with the bad choice, it will encourage them to make a better choice next time.
Consequences are only effective when they match the crime.
An example is that if my daughter left her new dress on the floor in a heap to get trampled on, I would pick it up and put it in the cupboard for a couple of days to show her that it is not OK to leave clothes on the floor.
The closer you can match the consequence to the behavior, the better the outcome will be.
This is what good discipline is all about.
Do you put your child into time out when they hit their sibling? Then do it consistently every time.
Do you ground the child who goes off to play without letting you know where they are going and what they are doing? Then do it every time.
Do you make your preteen write you 20 lines when they talk rudely to you? Then do it every time.
I am trying to make a point here.
When you decide to give out consequences to your children they need to be highly predictable.
Let me say that again in case some of you missed that.
when you decide to give out a consequence to your child, it needs to be highly predictable.
But what exactly does this mean to us? Kids need to make good choices, but they don't always choose well.
Our goal is that before they decide to indulge in a not so pleasant behavior, they would be able to say to themselves, "OK, is it worth running off for the afternoon to play with Johnnie when I know without a doubt that when I get home I will be grounded for seven days?" Can you see how this helps a child? The whole idea is that discipline is about teaching our kids to make the best choices.
In order to do this they really need to have all the facts so that they can make their decision.
Ultimately if we give our kids consequences that line up with the bad choice, it will encourage them to make a better choice next time.
Consequences are only effective when they match the crime.
An example is that if my daughter left her new dress on the floor in a heap to get trampled on, I would pick it up and put it in the cupboard for a couple of days to show her that it is not OK to leave clothes on the floor.
The closer you can match the consequence to the behavior, the better the outcome will be.
This is what good discipline is all about.
SHARE
