Does it sometimes seem as if your child doesn't hear a word you say? Do you tell him to do something and it never gets done? Do you give him advice and he does the opposite? Many parents feel the children are at fault when they don't listen - but, most often, the blame lies with the parent.
Parents need to think about their approach when they want their children to listen and respond.
Your attitude when talking with your children is important.
Do you throw your hands up and shake your head as if you are at the end of your rope with your child? In order for a child to be receptive, he must feel safe - not just save from being punished.
He must feel safe from ridicule and disappointment.
Ask yourself if you have ever said something to make your child feel ashamed.
If you want a good relationship with your child, you will build up his self esteem.
Your child needs to know that he can trust you to help him, not ridicule him.
Children need to have their feelings accepted and respected.
If all they hear from their parent is disrespect, they stop hearing anything the parent has to say.
You don't have to agree with your child's desire to get a belly ring, but you better respect their feelings if you want them to listen to what you tell them.
Do you label your child? Do you find yourself calling him "stubborn" or "bully" or "messy" or even "bad"? The problem with labeling is that the child most likely will live up to the label.
The "bad" child feels that any attempt to be good will be ignored.
Sometimes they act out badly just to get back at their parents for labeling them.
The reckless child continues to be reckless because parents expect it.
If you have labeled your child in the past, now is the time to begin "un-labeling" him or changing the labels.
Start finding good qualities in your child and use those to label.
He may be "messy", but perhaps he is also "smart".
Drop the messy label and use the smart one.
She may be "clumsy", but is she also "pretty"? Drop the clumsy label and use the pretty one.
If you find yourself saying "Stop teasing your sister", change it to "Be nice to your sister".
If you catch yourself saying "Stop acting like a baby", change it to "Please act mature.
" Parents who constantly complain that their child never listens need to ask themselves if they would listen to someone who talked to them the way they talk to their kids.
Ask yourself now.
Be honest with your answer.
It's the only way that you can change the way you approach your children.
Your children can't change until you change.