In today's society it's quite common, especially amongst young couples, for relationships to be ended by one of the partners being forced to relocate. It could mean one partner following a career opportunity that takes them far away. The important thing in these instances is that the relationship itself never broke down, the situations merely changed.
In some cases the couple may have tried a long distance relationship, but these can be very difficult and usually only work for short term separations. Eventually couples separated by distance will become tied up in their own local lives and drift apart. When this happens the potential is always there for the couple to re-establish contact, and eventually a relationship, but the initial stages of this can be very awkward.
Initially when you meet with an old flame there is some uncertainty as to exactly what your relationship is. You were a couple, but you separated because of distance, but now there is no distance so - are you a couple again? Generally the safest answer to that question is always going to be no. You need to assume that they have met someone or something has changed in the mean time and you are once again friends who may be interested in more. Contact them on this basis. Let them know when you are going to be around and ask them if they are free to meet up. Email is a pretty effective way of doing this, but you can have a great catch-up if you speak to them on the phone before you arrive.
One of the risks, if you have a limited time on your first meeting with them, is that you can spend so much time catching up on each others lives that you don't have any time left to turn the conversation to the thing that's really been bugging you - whether your long distance ex is interested in re-establishing a relationship. This is why surprising them with a phone call to ask them if they are free to see you is a great idea. You can get all the 'polite' conversation out of the way, catch up on the key changes in each others lives and then leave more personal talk for when you are face to face.
When you do see each other again treat it like a first date you expect to go very well. Do something fun, and preferably something that reminds you both of how much you enjoyed each others company before your enforced separation. The important thing is to contact them as a friend, and have fun. If it goes further than that - fantastic!
In some cases the couple may have tried a long distance relationship, but these can be very difficult and usually only work for short term separations. Eventually couples separated by distance will become tied up in their own local lives and drift apart. When this happens the potential is always there for the couple to re-establish contact, and eventually a relationship, but the initial stages of this can be very awkward.
Initially when you meet with an old flame there is some uncertainty as to exactly what your relationship is. You were a couple, but you separated because of distance, but now there is no distance so - are you a couple again? Generally the safest answer to that question is always going to be no. You need to assume that they have met someone or something has changed in the mean time and you are once again friends who may be interested in more. Contact them on this basis. Let them know when you are going to be around and ask them if they are free to meet up. Email is a pretty effective way of doing this, but you can have a great catch-up if you speak to them on the phone before you arrive.
One of the risks, if you have a limited time on your first meeting with them, is that you can spend so much time catching up on each others lives that you don't have any time left to turn the conversation to the thing that's really been bugging you - whether your long distance ex is interested in re-establishing a relationship. This is why surprising them with a phone call to ask them if they are free to see you is a great idea. You can get all the 'polite' conversation out of the way, catch up on the key changes in each others lives and then leave more personal talk for when you are face to face.
When you do see each other again treat it like a first date you expect to go very well. Do something fun, and preferably something that reminds you both of how much you enjoyed each others company before your enforced separation. The important thing is to contact them as a friend, and have fun. If it goes further than that - fantastic!
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