It's normal to seek assistance to help mend a troubled relationship. Often we may turn to family members or friends to seek their advice. Maintaining a healthy, vibrant relationship with a loved one is not always easy. There may be times when you may be affected more than others by a particular personality flaw or idiosyncrasy your partner may possess and it may strain your relationship with them to the breaking point. At other times you may enjoy the companionship of your partner so much that you are easily able to overlook any small imperfections in their personality. At such times and probably more often than you realize, you may wish that your relationship could last forever. If, however, you find yourself on an emotional roller coaster you may have no choice but to confront your partner in an attempt to discuss the issues and smooth out the relationship.
Don't think you're alone if you worry about talking to your loved one about the issues affecting you. It's often not an easy thing to do. Often we tend to avoid discussion about the issues, sometimes intending to begin the discussion, then switching to a more light-hearted, easier conversation at the very last moment. We may do this in fear of offending our partner. We may worry that he or she may become angry or defensive and the small irritation we may have wanted to discuss could get blown out of proportion and really drive a stake into the relationship. Such concerns are normal but often unfounded. Let's face it, you have either already tied the knot and have committed to live with your partner for the rest of your life or you may be considering doing so, or you wouldn't really care if the needed conversation hurt his or her feelings. The best course of action then, is to not wait too long. It's quite likely that your partner is totally oblivious of the little things he or she may be doing that are causing you heartache and may welcome the opportunity to please you and make the relationship better for you both.
Once you've summoned the courage to speak with your partner regarding the issues a little planning regarding what you want to say, how you would like to say it and the outcome you are prepared to accept is usually a good idea. At the same time, however, it's important that you be yourself, that you remain calm, collected and not become demanding. It's also essential that you take a good look at yourself and try to assess if you may be contributing to the issues. Such a self-assessment takes a great deal of maturity. It brings to mind something that my mother would tell me when as a child I would complain about someone else. She would say, "When you point one finger forward, three other fingers point back at you." It helped me back then and I always remember it when as an adult I find myself in similar situations. It reminds me that I'm not perfect either and very often the best solution is a compromise that works for both members of the relationship.
So, don't wait too long and don't over prepare. If you don't have the luxury of being able to engage your partner in this discussion over a candle-lit dinner at an expensive restaurant, then choose the next best thing. At breakfast over cornflakes works just as well if you handle it right. Have the conversation, reach an acceptable compromise and move on. You'll be glad you did and you may have just saved your relationship from spiraling out of control.
Don't think you're alone if you worry about talking to your loved one about the issues affecting you. It's often not an easy thing to do. Often we tend to avoid discussion about the issues, sometimes intending to begin the discussion, then switching to a more light-hearted, easier conversation at the very last moment. We may do this in fear of offending our partner. We may worry that he or she may become angry or defensive and the small irritation we may have wanted to discuss could get blown out of proportion and really drive a stake into the relationship. Such concerns are normal but often unfounded. Let's face it, you have either already tied the knot and have committed to live with your partner for the rest of your life or you may be considering doing so, or you wouldn't really care if the needed conversation hurt his or her feelings. The best course of action then, is to not wait too long. It's quite likely that your partner is totally oblivious of the little things he or she may be doing that are causing you heartache and may welcome the opportunity to please you and make the relationship better for you both.
Once you've summoned the courage to speak with your partner regarding the issues a little planning regarding what you want to say, how you would like to say it and the outcome you are prepared to accept is usually a good idea. At the same time, however, it's important that you be yourself, that you remain calm, collected and not become demanding. It's also essential that you take a good look at yourself and try to assess if you may be contributing to the issues. Such a self-assessment takes a great deal of maturity. It brings to mind something that my mother would tell me when as a child I would complain about someone else. She would say, "When you point one finger forward, three other fingers point back at you." It helped me back then and I always remember it when as an adult I find myself in similar situations. It reminds me that I'm not perfect either and very often the best solution is a compromise that works for both members of the relationship.
So, don't wait too long and don't over prepare. If you don't have the luxury of being able to engage your partner in this discussion over a candle-lit dinner at an expensive restaurant, then choose the next best thing. At breakfast over cornflakes works just as well if you handle it right. Have the conversation, reach an acceptable compromise and move on. You'll be glad you did and you may have just saved your relationship from spiraling out of control.
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