Grace under pressure is something we should all aspire to.
Lots of us never will see that deep composure, calm demeanour and soft assessment of the situation once we are under real pressure.
The gift of that ability is rare.
But we can all see it when it is there and we can emulate the techniques that allows for a win-win for all concerned.
The situations in which our composure is threatened are very numerous and variable.
If we have the insight to know that something is in front of us that requires a detachment from the outcome, while still working to get the best outcome, for ourselves and those around us, we are indeed favoured by the Fates.
Getting ourselves into a sane and safe place in the midst of trouble, is certainly worth striving for.
Being in optimum health helps.
Getting the major stressors under control helps.
Getting the family issues sorted out helps.
Everything that we confront affects something or someone close to us so we need to recognise our own role in the way it plays out.
In my role as a medical practitioner dealing with thousands of mid-life women every year, it is often the smallest things that finally cause balance to be lost, tears to fall and extremes of rage and hopelessness to emerge.
When someone looks carefully at their own health and stability, and takes steps to improve general things, like hormones, family and maybe depression, they are so much better prepared for the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" that may come their way.
Sometimes we may feel that taking time out of our life for things that are not immediately demanding our attention is sort of neglecting the more urgent, pressing things.
But we should take time to assess the next few weeks or months, so we can take steps to avoid the hurdles, or to deal with them better.
It is all too human to pay attention to what is pushing into our day from immediate sources, like the need for food tonight for dinner, cash to pay the rent, school expenses, everybody else's happiness or crises.
If we are coasting along with our life rating around 6-7 out of 10, and if others' lives seem to be rating only 2-3 out of 10 in the present moment then we perceive their need to be greater and give our attention to them instead of building our own reserves.
But this equation is wrong! If we are to hold things together effectively, and women do that, then we need at least to be at 7-8 out of 10 before we have anything left to give.
This means we have to feel reasonably good for a reasonable amount of the time.
But this cannot be the case if we are exhausted, frustrated, unbalanced, needing deeply what we cannot get, and feeling we are without support.
So taking care of our own health, both physically and mentally is as important as feeding your children! Why? Because if they are not cared for, watched over and provided for effectively, the children learn emotional poverty is the way to live.
And emotional poverty comes from not looking after yourself first, so you can look after others.
My grandfather, God Bless him, would have called it Self Respect, and it was the first lesson to learn and to teach your children.
From a base of Self Respect, we are able to decide where to send the energy, what steps to take to improve matters with the least disruption of our own peace of mind.
The temptation to be selfish fades with the thought that what we do needs to be the best for all concerned, not just ourselves.
When we really do understand Self Respect, it is possible to have grace under pressure since there is little that can truly cause us to lose balance.
We can afford to give in where it matters less and we have the strength to hold fast where it truly is important to us.
Without care of our own soul/spirit, we are liable to flap about with every wind that blows.
We don't know where the next blow will come from and we are braced for reaction to the next, and the next, and the next event that seems to attack us from the Fates.
No wonder we are exhausted! No wonder women from every socio-economic group tell me how stressed their life is.
No wonder misfortune finds us ready with tears, fears and rage when it hits.
We are priming ourselves for stress! Be quiet with yourself, be calm and centred and breathe..
..
...
Most of what occurs to upset us is unexpected.
Most of what we do fear never comes to pass.
That means we are worrying approximately the right amount, but about the wrong things! And that makes no sense at all! Be calm, breathe, relax and find the answers deep inside yourself.
Think of the feeling of grace under pressure.
Think of being safe, secure, in control, loved and appreciated.
Then go into that feeling and enjoy it.
Feel it, think of it, talk to yourself in that feeling and see what is happening when you are in that place.
Breathe softly, deeply, right down into your toes and blow away the stress with every out breath.
What you think you create, what you feel you attract, and what you imagine will be! Think Happy!
Lots of us never will see that deep composure, calm demeanour and soft assessment of the situation once we are under real pressure.
The gift of that ability is rare.
But we can all see it when it is there and we can emulate the techniques that allows for a win-win for all concerned.
The situations in which our composure is threatened are very numerous and variable.
If we have the insight to know that something is in front of us that requires a detachment from the outcome, while still working to get the best outcome, for ourselves and those around us, we are indeed favoured by the Fates.
Getting ourselves into a sane and safe place in the midst of trouble, is certainly worth striving for.
Being in optimum health helps.
Getting the major stressors under control helps.
Getting the family issues sorted out helps.
Everything that we confront affects something or someone close to us so we need to recognise our own role in the way it plays out.
In my role as a medical practitioner dealing with thousands of mid-life women every year, it is often the smallest things that finally cause balance to be lost, tears to fall and extremes of rage and hopelessness to emerge.
When someone looks carefully at their own health and stability, and takes steps to improve general things, like hormones, family and maybe depression, they are so much better prepared for the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" that may come their way.
Sometimes we may feel that taking time out of our life for things that are not immediately demanding our attention is sort of neglecting the more urgent, pressing things.
But we should take time to assess the next few weeks or months, so we can take steps to avoid the hurdles, or to deal with them better.
It is all too human to pay attention to what is pushing into our day from immediate sources, like the need for food tonight for dinner, cash to pay the rent, school expenses, everybody else's happiness or crises.
If we are coasting along with our life rating around 6-7 out of 10, and if others' lives seem to be rating only 2-3 out of 10 in the present moment then we perceive their need to be greater and give our attention to them instead of building our own reserves.
But this equation is wrong! If we are to hold things together effectively, and women do that, then we need at least to be at 7-8 out of 10 before we have anything left to give.
This means we have to feel reasonably good for a reasonable amount of the time.
But this cannot be the case if we are exhausted, frustrated, unbalanced, needing deeply what we cannot get, and feeling we are without support.
So taking care of our own health, both physically and mentally is as important as feeding your children! Why? Because if they are not cared for, watched over and provided for effectively, the children learn emotional poverty is the way to live.
And emotional poverty comes from not looking after yourself first, so you can look after others.
My grandfather, God Bless him, would have called it Self Respect, and it was the first lesson to learn and to teach your children.
From a base of Self Respect, we are able to decide where to send the energy, what steps to take to improve matters with the least disruption of our own peace of mind.
The temptation to be selfish fades with the thought that what we do needs to be the best for all concerned, not just ourselves.
When we really do understand Self Respect, it is possible to have grace under pressure since there is little that can truly cause us to lose balance.
We can afford to give in where it matters less and we have the strength to hold fast where it truly is important to us.
Without care of our own soul/spirit, we are liable to flap about with every wind that blows.
We don't know where the next blow will come from and we are braced for reaction to the next, and the next, and the next event that seems to attack us from the Fates.
No wonder we are exhausted! No wonder women from every socio-economic group tell me how stressed their life is.
No wonder misfortune finds us ready with tears, fears and rage when it hits.
We are priming ourselves for stress! Be quiet with yourself, be calm and centred and breathe..
..
...
Most of what occurs to upset us is unexpected.
Most of what we do fear never comes to pass.
That means we are worrying approximately the right amount, but about the wrong things! And that makes no sense at all! Be calm, breathe, relax and find the answers deep inside yourself.
Think of the feeling of grace under pressure.
Think of being safe, secure, in control, loved and appreciated.
Then go into that feeling and enjoy it.
Feel it, think of it, talk to yourself in that feeling and see what is happening when you are in that place.
Breathe softly, deeply, right down into your toes and blow away the stress with every out breath.
What you think you create, what you feel you attract, and what you imagine will be! Think Happy!
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