A teeny minority of men find picking out Christmas gifts for women a breeze, for most, shopping at the best of times is not so much a headache as a migraine.
An aquarium filter, self-supporting torch and washing machine are among the worst 'gaffe' gifts for her I've ever heard of.
The last didn't simply cause a lather.
It started divorce proceedings.
The filter turned up in my stocking after I'd mentioned that our fish tank needed attention.
The following year I also got something I'd said 'we must get around to doing' but this time it was a treasure: a portrait of my beloved spaniel.
Thankfully, this time round my husband had grasped that when it comes to Christmas gifts for women, 'need' doesn't necessarily mean 'want', and that luxury and indulgence always win hands down over practicality and usefulness.
Unless you're prepared to go to my mother's lengths of buying her own goodies and handing them over to wrap (dad manages that part at least), you can't guarantee you'll find what you want when it comes to present time.
However, there is no harm in a well-placed comment about the speed at which a favourite body cream has disappeared, or how you must replace that tatty looking bag.
Hints are a must.
Look at every situation - from watching television to supper with friends - as an opportunity to heap lavish praise on potential present material.
Depending on the thickness of your other half's skin, it might be necessary to leave magazines and catalogues open on special pages.
I've even been known to prime friends and stage conversations with them about what they've been coveting this season.
In truth, most women don't want to spell things out entirely.
We are always delighted, and possibly a little smug, when they reveal their romantic side.
A knock-out gift is rendered worthless if it's been bought by a secretary or sister.
On the other hand, if he's taken the trouble to canvas their opinions that does merit brownie points.
Just make sure they're well briefed on what's on top of your list.
If all else fails, it won't hurt to remind him that it will be a glorious day for everyone if you find something gorgeous to unwrap.
And if that doesn't persuade him to get shopping, then you really are doomed to a lifetime of aquarium filters.
And the next parcel he gets might well be full of something even more costly from your friendly local solicitor.
An aquarium filter, self-supporting torch and washing machine are among the worst 'gaffe' gifts for her I've ever heard of.
The last didn't simply cause a lather.
It started divorce proceedings.
The filter turned up in my stocking after I'd mentioned that our fish tank needed attention.
The following year I also got something I'd said 'we must get around to doing' but this time it was a treasure: a portrait of my beloved spaniel.
Thankfully, this time round my husband had grasped that when it comes to Christmas gifts for women, 'need' doesn't necessarily mean 'want', and that luxury and indulgence always win hands down over practicality and usefulness.
Unless you're prepared to go to my mother's lengths of buying her own goodies and handing them over to wrap (dad manages that part at least), you can't guarantee you'll find what you want when it comes to present time.
However, there is no harm in a well-placed comment about the speed at which a favourite body cream has disappeared, or how you must replace that tatty looking bag.
Hints are a must.
Look at every situation - from watching television to supper with friends - as an opportunity to heap lavish praise on potential present material.
Depending on the thickness of your other half's skin, it might be necessary to leave magazines and catalogues open on special pages.
I've even been known to prime friends and stage conversations with them about what they've been coveting this season.
In truth, most women don't want to spell things out entirely.
We are always delighted, and possibly a little smug, when they reveal their romantic side.
A knock-out gift is rendered worthless if it's been bought by a secretary or sister.
On the other hand, if he's taken the trouble to canvas their opinions that does merit brownie points.
Just make sure they're well briefed on what's on top of your list.
If all else fails, it won't hurt to remind him that it will be a glorious day for everyone if you find something gorgeous to unwrap.
And if that doesn't persuade him to get shopping, then you really are doomed to a lifetime of aquarium filters.
And the next parcel he gets might well be full of something even more costly from your friendly local solicitor.
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