As a parent it pains me to see my children suffer when they hurt themselves or when their team loses a game.
I feel horrible when a best friend makes them angry or when a love interest decides to call it quits or just be friends.
Unfortunately these things are all part of growing up and have to be experienced in order to enrich their lives and make them stronger, more balanced adults.
One thing that doesn't need to happen though is bullying.
There is no enrichment there, no life lesson that needs to be learned or passed on to make them better adults or more likely to succeed.
Bullying is simply being terrorized by your peers and it can have dangerous consequences.
I for one was extremely happy to learn that the school district my children belong to has a "Zero Tolerance" policy for bullying, or so they said.
My daughter is younger than everyone in her grade.
She was advanced at an early age and skipped into a higher grade.
While she has continued to develop at the same speed as her new peer group intellectually, she has not ever caught up with the kids in her class socially.
She has remained approximately one year behind in terms of personal hygiene, social skills, conflict management and many other interpersonal skill sets.
This has led certain children in her school to seek her out as an easy target for bullying.
When my daughter first started getting bullied she immediately brought it to the attention of her mother and myself.
We both attempted to give her some ways to alleviate the bullying with old standards like "ignore them" and "tell the teacher when it happens".
Initially we didn't hear anything further and felt we had managed the problem.
Unfortunately the bullying hadn't stopped, our daughter was still dealing with the issue daily.
Last year things really got bad for my daughter at her school.
Her grades started falling, she pulled out of extra-curricular activities and she started complaining of illness in order to stay home from school.
When she wasn't allowed to stay home from school she would end up in the nurse's office and would have to be picked up for being sick.
Her attitude began to change at home as well, as she was for more irritable and would fly into a screaming fit with very little prodding or even no apparent reason at all.
When my ex-wife started receiving letters from the state warning of consequences for our daughter missing school it really made us take notice.
We scheduled a meeting with the school vice-principal to discuss the bullying.
At this meeting we were assured that the district had a zero tolerance policy and that bullying was something that would not be accepted.
We left the meeting with a renewed sense of hope that things would change now that the school was aware of the issue.
We were mistaken, and things did not improve.
We spoke to the school on multiple occasions and each time I asked if the children bullying my daughter would be spoken to about their behavior.
After pushing the issue further and threatening to go to the school board I was informed that my daughter needed to develop a thicker skin and not take things so personally.
It was explained to me that these children are "just being kids" and that my daughter is overly dramatic about the whole situation.
Apparently this whole issue is her fault.
This made me realize that there is a problem inherent within the system, and that is the fact that the school is responsible for determining what constitutes bullying.
The school is responsible for identifying which actions and attitudes present a problem.
Not only that, but the school apparently is responsible for determining how my child should respond to the taunting and teasing.
They and they alone are the authority on whether or not she should allow these other children to affect her life academically, personally and spiritually.
The school has chosen to do nothing.
It has fallen to me to resolve this issue.
I am starting by writing this article, by reaching out to other parents whose children suffer at the hands of bullies.
I am making my daughter a promise so that she doesn't end up hating herself or hurting herself like so many other children that are being bullied.
I will take the fight to the schools through the media and through the state.
I will attack their funding and their reputation by continuing to ensure that everyone knows that this school is not honoring it's promise of "zero tolerance".
I will write articles and editorials, make phone calls to local and state politicians and speak to lawyers about my legal options.
It will be hard, and it will take a lot of my time.
It won't be fun and I'll probably get tired of it well before anything changes.
In the end though, if I can change things for my daughter and make her life better, it will have been worth it.
My promise: Daughter, I promise you that I will not let this bullying continue unchecked.
I will not stand behind you or beside you, but in front of you as a father should.
I have heard your cries and I understand your pain, even if I don't seem to sometimes.
I love you, and will fight for you.
Stay strong for me and I will see this through for you.
I feel horrible when a best friend makes them angry or when a love interest decides to call it quits or just be friends.
Unfortunately these things are all part of growing up and have to be experienced in order to enrich their lives and make them stronger, more balanced adults.
One thing that doesn't need to happen though is bullying.
There is no enrichment there, no life lesson that needs to be learned or passed on to make them better adults or more likely to succeed.
Bullying is simply being terrorized by your peers and it can have dangerous consequences.
I for one was extremely happy to learn that the school district my children belong to has a "Zero Tolerance" policy for bullying, or so they said.
My daughter is younger than everyone in her grade.
She was advanced at an early age and skipped into a higher grade.
While she has continued to develop at the same speed as her new peer group intellectually, she has not ever caught up with the kids in her class socially.
She has remained approximately one year behind in terms of personal hygiene, social skills, conflict management and many other interpersonal skill sets.
This has led certain children in her school to seek her out as an easy target for bullying.
When my daughter first started getting bullied she immediately brought it to the attention of her mother and myself.
We both attempted to give her some ways to alleviate the bullying with old standards like "ignore them" and "tell the teacher when it happens".
Initially we didn't hear anything further and felt we had managed the problem.
Unfortunately the bullying hadn't stopped, our daughter was still dealing with the issue daily.
Last year things really got bad for my daughter at her school.
Her grades started falling, she pulled out of extra-curricular activities and she started complaining of illness in order to stay home from school.
When she wasn't allowed to stay home from school she would end up in the nurse's office and would have to be picked up for being sick.
Her attitude began to change at home as well, as she was for more irritable and would fly into a screaming fit with very little prodding or even no apparent reason at all.
When my ex-wife started receiving letters from the state warning of consequences for our daughter missing school it really made us take notice.
We scheduled a meeting with the school vice-principal to discuss the bullying.
At this meeting we were assured that the district had a zero tolerance policy and that bullying was something that would not be accepted.
We left the meeting with a renewed sense of hope that things would change now that the school was aware of the issue.
We were mistaken, and things did not improve.
We spoke to the school on multiple occasions and each time I asked if the children bullying my daughter would be spoken to about their behavior.
After pushing the issue further and threatening to go to the school board I was informed that my daughter needed to develop a thicker skin and not take things so personally.
It was explained to me that these children are "just being kids" and that my daughter is overly dramatic about the whole situation.
Apparently this whole issue is her fault.
This made me realize that there is a problem inherent within the system, and that is the fact that the school is responsible for determining what constitutes bullying.
The school is responsible for identifying which actions and attitudes present a problem.
Not only that, but the school apparently is responsible for determining how my child should respond to the taunting and teasing.
They and they alone are the authority on whether or not she should allow these other children to affect her life academically, personally and spiritually.
The school has chosen to do nothing.
It has fallen to me to resolve this issue.
I am starting by writing this article, by reaching out to other parents whose children suffer at the hands of bullies.
I am making my daughter a promise so that she doesn't end up hating herself or hurting herself like so many other children that are being bullied.
I will take the fight to the schools through the media and through the state.
I will attack their funding and their reputation by continuing to ensure that everyone knows that this school is not honoring it's promise of "zero tolerance".
I will write articles and editorials, make phone calls to local and state politicians and speak to lawyers about my legal options.
It will be hard, and it will take a lot of my time.
It won't be fun and I'll probably get tired of it well before anything changes.
In the end though, if I can change things for my daughter and make her life better, it will have been worth it.
My promise: Daughter, I promise you that I will not let this bullying continue unchecked.
I will not stand behind you or beside you, but in front of you as a father should.
I have heard your cries and I understand your pain, even if I don't seem to sometimes.
I love you, and will fight for you.
Stay strong for me and I will see this through for you.
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